In the age of being your best self, learning to understand your emotional development, just focusing on what is your place in the world, sometimes it is hard to justify the need for more than you. When you are feeling the pangs of desire for companionship, you are told "when you dont think about it will happen", or one of my favorites, " that is nothing but demons working inside you to keep you from your focus on the Lord". Dont get it twisted, I am purely G*d's Property BUT after the Earth, there was Man and after Man was his mate Woman. There is nothing in Genesis about.. " Adam, when you have self-actualized you will find that mate ", or " Adam, are you the person that you are looking for" the understanding is that people ( not to be a cliche musical) do need people. A baby will suffer without human contact, a animal becomes rabid without attention, and in a jail the harshest punishment is SOLITARY confinement. The need for love in your life is essential and there is no need to apologize, rationalize or pray it away. I am surrounded by people who love and care for me, in my life I was not blessed with an extended family. My family truly consists of me, my younger sister and a brother who I met 6 years ago but our relationship is a slow development. My support was created through friendship and work over this many years and I feel blessed to have people in my life, who care for me but have no blood relation to me. It was not until I hit my late '20's that I truly understood, "G*d Bless The Child Who Has Thier Own" when you dont enjoy the luxuries of a strong family, the need for self-reliance becomes incredibly important. Even beyond that need, is a stronger, more silent ache that longs to have someone who cares for you, just because you are who you are. Even on those days, when you are not particulary witty, those moments when the only person who would want to be around you is a mother and even she is reconsidering her decision. Those times, when all you want is someone just to tell you are beautiful, or to sit and read the paper with. We get advanced degrees, workout, brush our teeth, acquire fabulous jobs and become a more interesting human being so we can find that mate. It is not our only purpose on earth but it is what fuels us for the emotional rollercoaster that is life. I have no resolve on this issue and that plus one remains elusive but I celebrate the people who have a union that helps them this complicated forest of life. For those, like myself are still on this journey alone, never apologize for wanting to give and recieve the most precious of human emotions. I believe it means we are still alive!
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An Actor/Director sharing her thoughts on creativity in this crazy metropolis, New Yawk Citay.