We are in the midst of another case of police brutality, it has become a part of the national discourse, like Trump, unfortunately. As per course, we are taking to the streets to argue the case of justice for......fill in the blank. Whenever the conversation comes to brutality, it is always seen through the experience of the black man. There can be no argument that black man are seen as the main target of police violence. The image of the hooded black man is part of the consciousness and if I was a mother, who had a son, there would no end to my worry. Concurrently, as a black queer woman, defined by femaleness and not by male privilege the perspective of my lens is slightly different. . My love for my brothas includes the physical and the spiritually while also painfully aware of the rampant misogyny that is alive and well in our community. The front lines of this #blacklivesmatter movement ( and practically every movement of civil rights) are women. It was founded by women, we are the majority of every march and every meeting. We are also dying in the streets not just to police but to our men. Tiarah Poyau, 22 a young woman who recently killed at the Jouvert festival in Brooklyn, was shot in the eye because she refused a dance with a man. This is a new story, as there have several stories of the women who have stabbed, shot or beaten for the refusal of men. The stories Janay Palmer ( Ray Rice now -wife), Cassandra Palmer ( who was killed by Jovan Belcher), and others where the sympathy is for their abusers but rarely for them. There has been a new term "misogoynoir' to describe this but its just good ol' fashion male violence. A recent blog (written by a black female writer, sexuality unknown) has been circulating through social media describing the "fragility of black men" in regards to the systemic racism that permeates our society causing them to not be in control their anger. Well..I just may be a bitchy feminist but that complete shite to me. This again brings me to my queerness, living in Boston surrounded by over-educated , underpaid black women. If you threw an incense stick in the middle of the road there would be 10 dreaded women with PH.D's to light it for a drum circle to support their own personal development.
There are times I believe that straight/ and or hetro-norm black women will let their loyalty to the "cause" eat their ever living sanity?
On Demand, I viewed the imperfect film "Perfect Man" which was your typical date night thriller. What struck me was the underlying message to particularly successful black woman of a "certain age".
Not to give any "spoilers" but suffice it to say the Sanaa Lathan character (Leah) has been strung along for 2 years with a man (Dave played by Morris Chestnut) who will not make a commitment to her, she then meets this man (Carter played by Michael Ealy) who is respectful to her parents by refusing to engage in sexual relations, listens to her, supports her ambition and approaches her in a respectful way. He turns out to be a violent maniac, her affections then return to the Dave who strung her along and she apologizes for her core values in return for his continued affections. I sat there in absolute shock that this was depicting love in the present age?
So between Black women being told to lower their standards, now we are being told to write off our core values. When we speak about our concerns we are "the petty Black Feminist" bringing down our brothas. The dilemma of being a black man in America is mirrored by being a woke, black women in our own community. The presence of our First Lady Michelle Obama is so important, a reminder that you can be a an intelligent, successful and opinionated black women while defining your womaness, how you please.
Whether its wearing an amazing outfit ( as she always does), kickboxing, doing push-ups or loving on your man. She doesn't have to lower her shine to make Pres. B feel like a man. He is a real black man who loves his real black woman.
I have no resolve for this but to hope for all my Sistas that our ambitions, opinions, sexual expressions are valued at the same level of that to our to commitment to black men's liberty. #blacklivesmatter #feminism #womanist #blackmen #blackwomen #misogynynoir #misogyny