The beginning of a New Year brings alot of reflection of what is working in your life and the areas that need attention. After a very busy December, which I am quite grateful for, the beginning of the year has been on the quiet side, which can be great but also leaves you alot of opportunity to think, which can not be so great. As an actor, you spend alot of time in the company of people you really dont know well and make express relationships. Within that time, which can range from 15min to sometimes 3 months you can actually create some enchanting bonds. Most likely those bonds will end when the project is completed. I have been lucky where I have created some real bonds that have lasted but the majority are a wonderful part of the memory quilt which is my life. In a profession where there is such tenuous relationships, the need for a permanent bond becomes even more immediate. Since being back in N.Y. I have enjoyed several casual relationships w/some interesting people ( and some not so interesting) which help to my time in the city more "colorful" but my "Ebony relationship" has alluded me. Granted, I give alot of my energy to my artistic endeavors and the rest to creating a strong social circle which could still use some more strength but I am working on it! That need to come home to someone who you can share your day with, or listen to thier stories or just watch a corny movie with has been a growing need with each reply to a breakdown or confirming an audition appt. Maslow's theory of covering our basic needs before being able to achieve self-actualization may be the antithesis to all the new age philosophy of today but I still believes it holds some ground. Having a real connection to someone intimately is an important part of anyone's human development, you can find several ways of creating that bond but it is necessary one to help one feel grounded. The truth is, many will take the store model in replace of the real thing and at this stage of my life, I completely understand when it seems like the alternatives are quickly diminishing. For me in my continuing development, it would be difficult to accept a facsimile because my connection to Spirit would make it an internal nightmare for me but I would be lying to say I wasnt tempted. There is no resolution in this entry, just the sharing of a woman who is looking for her "Ebony household" and one day hopes she finds it. A home filled w/ love of Spirit, visual art, soul music, intimate conversations, shea butter, hip-hop, fish fry's, movie nights, house parties, political debate and lots of lovin. Here's to hopin!
An Actor/Director sharing her thoughts on creativity in this crazy metropolis, New Yawk Citay.