A Boston friend, who is an actor we met in a show that we both performed in at the Boston Center for Arts. She replied to my bimonthly newsletter with "You are living the dream". It was a supportive and wonderful thing to say but it really gave me pause.."am I living the dream"? My day job is in the Broadway District, my home is in the same district and an aspiring actor in New York City. The other part of my reality is, I am the working poor, I dont have health insurance, I have debt and there are areas of my life that need attention that I dont have the financial means to address. My material realities do impede with my artistic pursuits and create an almost insane juxtaposition to each other. I am beyond the age where this is considered trendy and each day I am aware of the ticking clock. The truth is I am not a person who has extravangant needs, but even my relatively simple needs are a struggle in this current economic climate. The other part of my reality is I have not achieved the success that warrants the time and energy I have put into my career, I am still struggling to become union which means I am still auditioning for low paying projects. So, it makes me wonder what is the dream and from someone viewpoint where life may seem more routine, this is the life. While I share the areas that are challenging, there are things that are wonderful. My social circle continues to grow, meeting artists all the time that are passionate and committed to thier work, I am growing as a director in New York with a growing number of projects under my belt. my living space is ridiculously convenient making Mahattan my playground, and I have doubled my resume is a half the time in took in Boston as an actor. I am much more respected in New York as an actor than I was in Boston which is great and a little ironic. There is no real resolve in this entry, just a moment to ruminate on what the "dream" means and how it differs from our waking reality. How can we bring the two together as opposed to be in complete disharmony which it can sometimes feel like. The truth is I dont want to go back to the 9-5 world and with my work ethic in this business, I really shouldnt have to. It is horrible to have to choose between two issues that are part of your health, your spiritual or physical.
An Actor/Director sharing her thoughts on creativity in this crazy metropolis, New Yawk Citay.