Doubt: More than the title of a Bway play

It is challenging living in a city like New York. There a couple of things that are certain, humid days in the summer, the A train holding during rush hour because of "traffic train ahead" even though there was a gap of more than 15 min between stations and a new five star restaurant opening in a working poor neighborhood. What isnt certain is what opportunity lays just around the corner. Could it be a surprise meeting with a powerful agent, could it be an amazing break in a SAG/Lo Pay independent feature that ends up at Sundance, could it be the love of your life at a networking event or could it be the most amazing conversation with your new best friend. The sense of possibilities in New York is it's blessing and it's curse. It can cause you to live in the future of what can be and ignore the blessings of the present moment. It is a constant challenge to see beyond the struggle of now, remain confident about the future and yet plan for any obstacles along the way. As a single woman in New York, the amount of pretty distractions are great, this is the town for flirtation. There is some lovely face, body, voice, spirit tempting you at every crossroad but to have something real is another story. It is challenge to create a solid foundation with anyone, anywhere in the world. There are no guarantees in any union but when you live in one of the most popular cities in the world, with some of the most alluring it becomes a different scenario. The sense of doubt and fear can become like a stench if you dont have a strong sense of inner-knowing. There is a strength of will and purpose that has to be your guide through the fidelity maze of Gotham and that is no easy task. I am still learning this and each day brings a different challenge, whether it is the concern of age, size, humour, talent or financial abundance. This entry has no witty resolve, it is an ongoing process that I continue to move thru. Taking the myriad of emotions that can keep me in encased and releasing them into an unknown universe. This is my form of release, my mind altering method of escape with the hope of getting closer to my sense of eternal bliss. Wish me certainty on this journey.